(3x03) Meij Endaren: Part 1, Episode 3
Endaren is hatched among the Nurbal and raised like one of them, including being injected with the nanites that connect him to The Machine. Through both that connection and more conventional education he is groomed his entire life to be a military commander, and heavily indoctrinated in Nurbal values of science and progress, and to view the Ancients as a backward traditionalist society of religious extremists who would impose their superstitious primitivism over the whole world if they had a chance. His whole life he feels a vague sense of suffering and discomfort, like the distant wailing of people dying on the battlefield. He is told all the while that this is from his connection to the Machine, which unites all Nurbal together into a glorious technological unity at the speed of thought, including the many Nurbal who suffer every day at the hands of their enemies, the Ancients.
But when Endaren at last reaches maturity and is introduced to command on the battlefield of the intractable war that has now enveloped the entirety of Niarba, he begins to correlate the ebb and flow of the cacophony and discord wailing in the back of his mind not with his people's defeats in battle (their forces being remotely controlled automatons by and large), but rather with their victories over the Ancients. He eventually realizes that the source of the pain he has felt his entire life is the suffering of the other Ancients that he can feel through his connection to their goddess Geiana, of which he is every much a part as they are.
Increasingly haunted by this realization, and correspondingly pressured and seemingly mistrusted by his Nurbal superiors, he eventually flees from the Nurbal in a daring escape into the frozen wilderness of the northern lands, which he survives only by using the magic he has thus far been completely untrained in, guided gently by a voice in his mind, not the voice of Geiana but a more singular one, though all of Geiana echoes the voice's words.